Pligget
Little to say for myself


Friday, April 11, 2003

Metaphors from Student Essays

 
Just to counter the popular fiction that education is dumbing down, here are some examples that bode well for the future:
  • Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
  • She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
  • McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
  • Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  • He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
  • The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
  • The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
  • John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  • The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
  • The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
  • Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
  • The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.
  • Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
  • The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan might just work.
  • The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
  • "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
  • He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  • Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
  • She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  • It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
  • The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.
  • The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamp-post.
  • The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
  • The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
  • It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
  • He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
  • She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
  • She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
  • Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermalpaper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
  • It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

posted by Plig | 14:31 |


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Forget the sentimental notion that foreign policy is a struggle between virtue and vice, with virtue bound to win.
Forget the utopian notion that a brave new world without power politics will follow the unconditional surrender of wicked nations.
Forget the crusading notion that any nation, however virtuous and powerful, can have the mission to make the world in its own image.
Remember that diplomacy without power is feeble, and power without diplomacy is destructive and blind.
Remember that no nation's power is without limits, and hence that its policies must respect the power and interests of others.
Hans Morgenthau

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts
Bertrand Russell

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one
Albert Einstein

When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative
Martin Luther King Jr.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man
Bertrand Russell

I think it would be a good idea
Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun
Pablo Picasso

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others
Groucho Marx

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
Mahatma Gandhi

Always make new mistakes
Esther Dyson
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